Ahhhh, Halloween Candy!!

Happy Halloween everyone! Today we had a Halloween Party/Parade at work for everyone who dressed up. I of course wore my pirate costume. I don’t plan on winning any contests or anything but thought I’d at least participate in the fun of it all. I also brought some candy because we had trick or treating as well. It was kinda fun to go around the office and see everyone’s costumes. There weren’t as many people dressed up as I thought there would be. I swear, there were more in the past. This year everyone was slacking I suppose. It was still fun. They had warm apple cider, cupcakes, candy apples, cookies, candy, etc. I was TRYING to be good…(trying being the key word) but it all looked so good. Since I found out I was pregnant, I completely cut caffeine out of my diet. I haven’t had soda in about a year so that was easy and I was keeping it to one cup of coffee a day when TTC. I just stopped drinking coffee all together. No chocolate, nothing. Today I had to break that rule. I am a sucker for kit kats. So I may have had 2. And a few pieces of candy. I couldn’t help myself! But I promise…no more. Too much sugar I’m sure is not good for the baby!!

I hope we get lots of trick or treaters! I do NOT want this candy around the house. There is way too much temptation in front of me. Especially since I am always hungry these days. We probably won’t though since we are the first house on the block and our neighbors moved out. So right now that house is for sale and we are kinda the lonesome house at the beginning of the street. We live next to a fairly busy street so we’ll probably get skipped. I know last year we only had about 10 trick or treaters. We bought so much candy because it was the first year in our house and we didn’t know what to expect. This year, I only bought 2 bags more or less just to have a variety. I really should have just stuck with one though. I know we won’t need it all. That just means I’ll be passing out handfuls. lol.

Hope everyone has a good day and don’t eat too much candy!!

I Did It!

Last night was a blast! Even though I couldn’t drink…no one knew it. I told my friend who helped me host the party so she could help me “mix” drinks. I just carried around a cup of cranberry juice and when they asked what it was, I would tell them it was cranberry and vodka. Later, I drank water because I had to drive home and I was trying to sober up (or at least that’s what I told everyone). It went over soooo well. I must be a pretty decent actress too because at one point in the night, I must have done something I only do when I drink (not sure what though) and a friend looked at me and said, “Kerri’s drunk!!” Hahahaha! I had no idea that it would work that well…but that was a lot easier than trying to lie to everyone and tell them I was either sick, or not drinking because of medication or something. I knew if i did that people would most certainly get suspicious. I couldn’t believe it. And, it was probably one of our best parties yet. We had a great turnout. Batman, Catwoman, and Bane showed up. We had Tom Cruise, Scorpion, Cheech and Chong, Alice and Mad Hatter, a Beer Maid and Yodeler, Masquarade couple, Waldo and Wenda, and we were Pirates. I made my famous rotel dip, pumpkin bread with cream cheese swirl, and pumpkin cookies with caramel frosting, all made from scratch. A friend even made buffalo wing dip. Everything was pretty much destroyed! There was hardly anything left…except a decent amount of the rotel. It’s a staple at all my parties and there was one time I didn’t make it…everyone threw a fit. LOL. So now it’s a must have. So I made a double batch this time since we always run out. I’m glad I did, this time my husband actually had some to take home and he was very excited about that. Of course that was his lunch today! Very healthy I know.

Needless to say, last nights party was a success in every way possible. Next up New Year’s!! (maybe)

I’ll leave you with a pic from the party. My friend and her husband dressed as the beer maid the yodeler and me and my husband as pirates! 🙂

2 Weeks!!

2 weeks from today I have my first OB appointment!!!!! My husband actually requested that be his day off work that week (his days off change every week) so he can go with me. Yay! 🙂 I even requested the day off. Not that I need the entire day since my appointment is at 8:30 in the morning but I have a ton of personal time left this year (I work at home so I don’t need it), so I figured why not, right? I will be 8 weeks and 1 day according to my LMP…however, my cycle is longer than most so I’m guessing I’ll be more like 7 weeks but we’ll see what the doctor says. I am beyond excited! I’m not sure what to expect for my first appointment but I know they are going to do an ultrasound (which I guess is standard procedure for their office). I’m really glad about that! I want to see that there really is a little baby in there 🙂 I don’t necessarily forget that I’m pregnant because I can’t stop thinking about it, but I don’t FEEL pregnant. I was thinking I would feel different but I really don’t. I’m starting to sleep a little better. I still wake up before my alarm but I’m not as tired anymore, no morning sickness, nothing. I really don’t feel any different. Well, I did just snap at my husband for no reason really. So I guess I have mood swings. But that’s really it so the ultrasound will be definite confirmation and I’m excited to see the little bean. I also know they’re going to go over the testing that I need to consider…like for down syndrome and what not. I’m under 30 and not sure I really need it. But I guess I find out more about it when I go.  I can’t wait to find out my official due date. Ahhh, I just can’t wait, I’m so excited!!! I’ve actually already started taking belly pictures, even though I don’ t have one yet. I don’t have a flat stomach to start with so I’m taking them with my shirt ON but still will be cool to look back at it every week and see the progression. I even bought a package of diapers at the store the other day, just because I could. It was weird to buy diapers for our baby and not for a baby shower or something. And my husband cleaned out the closet in the guest bedroom the other day so that’s all emptied out and ready for baby stuff!! We still have to move out the bed and see if we can fit it in the office but that will be a later project. I don’t want to do too much until we get the all clear from the ob at the 12 week appt. I don’t want to jump the gun or anything but I can’t help it. We are both just so excited and I’ve already started looking at cribs and baby furniture. I want to start setting up the nursery right now!!! lol

A friend of mine from high school (whom I haven’t spoken to in 10 years) messaged me on fb the other day because she saw my post about waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep. She asked me if I was pregnant. How did she know??!??!???! She proceeded to tell me that she just found out that she was a week before me and she was having the same problem with sleeping. So of course I told her I was and we kept talking about our symptoms and everything. We pretty much have the same thing. No morning sickness, but occasional mood swings, and trouble sleeping despite being tired. My first thought was, “Finally, someone to talk to about this that’s going through the same thing!” So anyway, today was her first appointment…she’s about 6 1/2 weeks. Of course I was anxious to hear how it went since I’ll be having my first appointment soon. She lives in my hometown in NY so I guess they do things very different up there because she basically did some blood work and the basic stuff. Confirmed she was pregnant and blah blah blah. One thing she told me that she was extremely disappointed about, was that she won’t get to hear the heartbeat until 10 weeks, and she’s not going to get her first ultrasound until 19 weeks. WHAT? That seems crazy to me. By then, she’ll be finding out the gender. Just doesn’t seem right. So needless to say she was very disappointed in her first appointment and may be looking for another doctor. I just hope I have better luck with mine. Not that I really know what to expect, like I said, but no ultrasound until 19 weeks?! I’d be demanding one! LOL. She made me a little bit worried about our first appointment but it already seems like things will be a little bit different for me. So we’ll see.

                                                                                                                                             

We are having our annual Halloween Party on Saturday and I am soooo excited to see all my friends all dressed up. This is the first year since my husband and I have been together (5 years!!) that we have had matching costumes. We are Pirates this year. ARRRRGH!! The only problem…I can’t drink. We haven’t told any of our friends yet so it’s going to be really hard to hide it from them. Especially since I want to tell them so bad and I’m terrible at keeping secrets. I really hope I don’t slip!! I’m thinking that I’m just going to carry around some water with mio in it…or punch, or sparkling grape juice…just something that looks like I’m drinking so no one asks questions. We’ll see how well it works. Will definitely let you know. Hopefully we can keep our secret!! If not I will really be mad at myself…we definitely want to tell our parents first AND we wanted to wait until after the first appointment!

That’s it for now. Is it bad that I want to have more symptoms so I can feel like I’m having a “normal” pregnancy? I know there really isn’t a “normal” and every body is different but it worries me that I’m not feeling more ya know? So I will keep you updated if there are any changes. And of course after the party I will let you know if I was able to keep my mouth shut. *Fingers Crossed*!

The Color Run

Today was sooo much fun! I don’t know if anyone has ever heard of the Color Run. It’s a 5k race with 4 color stations throughout the course where they throw colored powder on you. I heard it was flour but no idea what it actually was. Didn’t taste like anything but I bought a bandana to put over my nose and mouth just in case…didn’t want to be inhaling anything unsafe. Obviously it’s safe or they wouldn’t be able to throw it on you but I didn’t want to take any chances. It was seriously like a cloud of color when you ran through it. Anyway, they do them all over the country and they came to Nashville this year! You start off wearing a white t-shirt but by the end, you are covered in color! It was AWESOME! Of course I couldn’t run and luckily neither could one of my friends so no one suspected anything when we said we were going to walk. Doctor’s orders. I usually run 3 miles a day and do some kickboxing. I was told not to run until I got the “OK” from the doctor at my appointment. So walking it is for the next 2 1/2 weeks. Better safe than sorry…gotta keep Baby Brooks safe 🙂 That’s my nickname for it. Since we obviously don’t know what we’re having…can’t call it “he” or “she” and I REALLY hate saying “IT”…so baby brooks it is. Or Bean. I say that too because right now that’s probably what it looks like in there. hehe. Still weird to think about it. And saying it out loud…”I’m pregnant!” is still strange.

Anyway, after I got home I was exhausted since I was up at 4:20 again this morning. Had to pick up my friend at 7am so I was going to get up at like 6:00 anyway so wasn’t too bad. So when I got home I took a shower and scrubbed off all the paint powder. I laid on the couch and of course fell asleep for about 2 hours. I only woke up when my dog came up to tell me she had to go potty. I went to the store and picked up a couple pumpkins so the husband and I could carve some pumpkins tonight. He of course did YODA and I just did a generic “Wicked”. It’s cute. We don’t have any pictures because they didn’t really show up on our cameras but we have them sitting out on our front porch with flickering candles in them. Don’t worry, they’re battery operated so no fire hazard.

So I’d say it’s been a pretty great day! Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. And really hoping that I can get SLEEP well tonight. If I get up early, at least it gives me an excuse to get on the treadmill and walk a couple miles before work. I’ll leave you with a couple pictures. Before and after at the Color Run 🙂

BTW- I’m on the left.

Tired but can’t sleep!

So far the only symptom I’m having is the fact that I have no energy and I’m tired all the time. When I go to sleep, I seem to sleep ok, until about 4am…then I start tossing and turning until my alarm goes off. Wednesday I woke up at 5:55am…my alarm goes off at 6:10. Thursday it was 5:30. Friday it was 5:40. And today…Saturday the only day this week I don’t have to get up early, I wake up at 4am!!!! I couldn’t get back to sleep, I just laid there and looked at the clock and finally decided I needed to get up. I went to the bathroom even though I didn’t really feel that I needed to. As soon as I stood up, I started feeling queasy. It was just some slight nausea. It wasn’t enough to get sick but enough to make me uncomfortable and feel like I had to burp every 2 seconds. I decided to go downstairs and lay on the couch and watch some tv so I didn’t disturb my husband who had to get up for work in a couple hours. Of course he woke up anyway. He looked at me as asked if I was alright. I told him I couldn’t sleep and was going to go downstairs. He offered to let me stay in bed and he would go to the couch. (Funny thing is, we have a guest bedroom but we both like to have the tv on when we can’t sleep, or when trying to sleep…and the guest room doesn’t have one). I told him it wasn’t a big deal and off I went. Poor thing said he was tossing and turning ever since I left. I think he was worried about me. I was fine, just couldn’t sleep! It really sucks being tired all the time but not being able to sleep. It’s like being drowsy, but not sleepy. I just feel like I have no energy. Guess I should get used to it though. I keep reading that the first 3 months are the worst.

Other than the not sleeping thing and maybe some extra gas…I haven’t really been having any symptoms. Every now and then I’ll get a slight bout of nausea but it doesn’t last and doesn’t make me sick either so I’m actually quite grateful. I’m so happy to finally be pregnant after 6 months of trying that I really don’t care. I want to experience all of this. And I know once this baby comes, I will not be getting much sleep anyway so maybe this is my body’s way of preparing me for motherhood. I still can’t believe it. The idea of pregnancy is always on my mind. It’s like I’m consumed with it and can’t think of anything else so it’s not like I could forget. But I still can’t believe it at the same time. I don’t think I will until I start showing. Which by the sounds of it, may take a while. I want to experience that and I’m actually excited to start looking pregnant. Only part about it all I’m not looking forward to, is not being able to fit into anything and needing to buy new clothes…AGAIN. After losing 85lbs. over 3 years, (the last 55 in the last 9 months), I’ve already had to buy tons of new clothes because nothing fit and now I’m going to have to do it allllll over again. On top of all the things we need for the baby. I’m already starting to worry about the financial aspect of it all. Can we really afford a baby? Everyone always tells us, “You are never financially ready for a baby, but you always find a way to make it work”. And I know we will. And luckily we have family members who are extrememly excited about the prospect of us having children. We haven’t told anyone yet, but my sister-in-law has already given me a maternity shirt…”for the future” she says. And her daughter gave us a pregnancy test last time we were there. (Which by the day, was around the time we conceived).  But anyway, I know they will help us out with some of the big things like nursery furniture, carseats, etc. My husband and I actually went to Toys-R-Us yesterday after our celebratory dinner at Old Chicago. We of course browsed through all the baby stuff and it’s crazy to think about how much a baby needs and how expensive everything is!! Thank goodness for baby showers!! 🙂

Anyway, I guess that’s enough for today. Just wanted to document what’s been going on the last couple of days and of course my symptoms I’ve been having. Which luckily have been very few. Until next tim…

Trying to Keep Our Secret

I am a terrible liar and even worse at keeping secrets. Especially one this big and exciting!!! When I have news like this, I just want to shout it on the rooftops!

I work at home 4 days a week and only go into the office on Tuesdays so of course yesterday was my office day. My good friend and I had lunch together and it took all I could to NOT blurt it out and let her know. But I was good and kept it to myself. Then we had a meeting for an non-profit organization I’m involved in after work so we grabbed some dinner first and met up with another member/friend. Of course I wanted to tell her too and it was torture…but luckily we had other things to talk about. She’s getting married in April and since I recently got married, we were discussing a lot of wedding things. So that really helped to keep my mind off things and keep me from telling them. Though it was really hard because they were serving wine at the meeting (it was a dicussion panel/reception for prospective members) and I LOVE wine! So I always drink when it’s available for free at events like this. So it was hard to explain why I wasn’t drinking. I pretty much just told them I had to drive and I had been feeling dizzy lately and didn’t think it was a good idea. What else am I supposed to say?

I finally got ahold of my obgyn and scheduled my first ob appointment. They want to wait until 8 weeks to see me so my appointment is scheduled for Thursday November 8th at 8:30am. I’ll be 8 weeks and 1 day. They are going to do an ultrasound and of course afterwards meet with the doctor. I’ll get to find out the due date, what to do, what not to do, pretty much everything I need to know to get me through the next 9 months. I’m soooo excited and these 3 weeks are going to be the longest 3 weeks of my life. Well no, probably not. The 4 weeks following are going to be hell, trying to keep the news from friends and family. But my husband and I agreed that we weren’t going to tell anyone until the 12 week mark and we get the clear from the doctor. This would put us around the 1st week in December. We’re thinking, possibly a Thanksgiving reveal. I don’t know if that will be too early or not but I guess we’ll have to see what the doctor says.

So far I haven’t really had any “symptoms”. No spotting, no morning sickness, nothing. In the evenings I’ll get a little tired but that’s nothing unusual. I had a few dizzy spells a few days ago but they’re becoming few and far between. Slight nausea in the afternoons like after lunch but no vomitting. A little bit a heartburn here and there but again, nothing out of the ordinary considering we had chili the other day. (Don’t worry, I didn’t make it very spicy…my husband said it wasn’t as good. lol) And a little more gas than normal. No breast tenderness at all. Not really any cramping…just maybe some bloating and minor back pain. It actually feels like I’m about to get my AF. Of course that makes me think…well maybe I’m not really pregnant. So I keep taking tests. LOL. They’re always positive but I can’t help it. I’m not really having symptoms so I start to doubt everything. Like, am I reading the test right but there’s no mistaking it. I’ve taken losts of tests in my life and this is the first time it’s come back positive. I know how to read them by now. And my BBT is staying elevated.

I’ve already started downloading pregnancy apps on my phone. Anyone know any really good ones I need to get? I have the one from thebump and babycenter but I want the ones that tell you exactly what’s going on in your body from week to week. What your baby looks like and what you should expect to be happening to you either with symptoms or just body changes in general. Any suggestions would be helpful. Or even what books to read? One of my friends was telling me, “you don’t need to read books, you can find everything on the internet” but I’m terrible about fishing out the good stuff to read. Plus, I’d rather have a book I can refer to rather than trying to find stuff on the internet all the time. I’d like to be able to bookmark the pages and whatnot.

Oh yeah, I promised you pictures. I plan on starting to take belly shots with symptoms I’m having, the size of the baby, ect. written down. Just haven’t gotten to that yet. Of course one reason being because I don’t have a belly or symptoms yet. But here is one of the pregnancy test… 🙂

Big Fat POSITIVE!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! That’s all I can think right now! After I posted yesterday morning I was thinking about it all day. So finally at 4:30pm when I got off work (btw, that was the longest work day of my life), I went to Walgreens and picked up some early pregnancy tests and tried again. It was still pretty faint but it was much more noticeable. BFP! 🙂 I took a picture and sent it to the ONE friend that knows we’re trying and was like “do you see what I see?” She screamed and was like OMG, that’s POSITIVE! I of course started freaking out, crying, laughing, etc. I even had a bout of shear panic. But I guess that’s normal. As much as I wanted this, I was starting to believe it was going to be so much harder and almost impossible. Guess not. So I was in shock!

I waited til my husband got home from work at 7pm. That was a long 3 hours to wait. I kept myself busy with making dinner (chili yum!). I already had it planned out how I was going to tell him. I bought a book called “Dude, You’re Gonna Be a Dad”. It’s a book about pregnancy from a man’s point of view. It’s supposed to be funny but educational. Thought that might be a good way to ease him into the whole idea of it all. And of course I had the test in my pocket so I could show him after he opened his gift. He didn’t know what to expect when I told him I had a gift for him. Took him a minute to realize was I was trying to tell him, then when I showed him the test he looked even more confused (because you could barely see it) so I had to shout out, I’m Pregnant!!! He was definitely in shock but it was the longest embrace of our lives. Then as we eat dinner and finally settle down and watch some tv, he says to me “is that enough?” I was like, what do you mean? And he goes “is that dark enough to be positive?” He wasn’t convinced. I said yes, I’m pretty sure but we’ll know for sure after I get in to the doctor’s. He said “OK” and left it alone. I think he wants the confirmation from the doctor before he gets too excited.

So this morning I took another test and this time it was MUCH more noticable. I left it on the counter in the bathroom with a note that said “is that better?” So we’ll see what text message I get this morning after he gets up. ha! But we are beyond thrilled! I’m at work and cannot post anymore but hopefully I can get a picture up this afternoon…

The Waiting Game…

The doctor’s office called this afternoon with the results from my progesterone test. It was POSITIVE!!! Yay! I did ovulate after all. I have a problem with worrying about things too much and immediately assume the worst. Runs in the family. Definitely something I need to work on. But now I no longer have to stress. Well, not about that at least. Yes, my cycle is still irregular and I still have no idea when AF will arrive. However, if I ovulated around the time I THINK I did and it’s 2 weeks before AF, I’m calculating I should get it around the 17th-19th. Which means I now have to WAIT and see.

This is going to be the hardest part. WAITING! Anyone who knows me, knows I am NOT a patient person!! I hate waiting, I hate being late…I think this is the first time in my life I’m actually hoping something is late! haha. Get it? Ha! 🙂

So now I will need to spend the next week counting the days until I can take a HPT. Right now I’m guessing I’m 7 dpo. I have a couple EPT’s but I’m afraid of testing too early and being disappointed. Is it bad that one reason I’m really hoping this is the month is because my child will have a June birthday? That is just the perfect month to be born. Also, I seriously have no patience and I just want it to happen now! Let the waiting game begin…

More Bloodwork

After I got the call from the doctor’s office on Monday, I set up an appointment to get more bloodwork done yesterday afternoon. Of course I get there early so I actually got in and out of there before my scheduled appointment time. I am at least 15 minutes early for everything and I HATE when people are late! But that’s beside the point.

I’m used to getting my blood drawn because of my hypothyroidism. I had to get it checked every few months since I was like 15 so it’s really no big deal to me. Plus, I donate blood as often as I can. I’ve taken a break from that recently because you obviously cannot give blood when you’re pregnant. And just to be on the safe side, I decided to take some time off. Again, I’m going off on a tangent. So they draw the blood and that’s it. Simple and semi painless. I was hoping to talk to my doctor yesterday and ask her a couple questions. I was really confused when they told me according to my progesterone that I had not ovulated considering I had gotten the positive OPK and a spike in my BBT. Of course she wasn’t available. The nurse said she was with another patient and had a busy schedule but I did ask if I could get a copy of my results from the bloodwork from the past 2 weeks. I had it done on the 25th as well as the 2nd. On the 25th my progesterone was .1 and the 2nd it was .3 So depressing! I’m hoping for good results this time. I plan to call her on Friday if I don’t hear back from her…that way I don’t have to wait until MONDAY again like I did this time. I hate not knowing what is going on!

As always, I will keep you updated as soon as I get the results. Here’s to hoping for good results this time!!

Confused- Positive OPK/Negative Progesterone, How?

I am beyond baffled right now! Just got a call from the doctor’s office with the results from my progesterone test. It was NEGATIVE! How is that possible? During my ultrasound last week she said my ovaries and pretty much everything looked GREAT! Even said that I was about to release an egg. I even felt it. Since that day, I’ve been using an OPK and the test strips were positive up until today. But the blood work showed that I didn’t ovulate. I don’t get it!? I even asked the nurse about it on the phone and she didn’t give me any answers so she wants me to come back in tomorrow to test again. I can guarantee it’s going to negative. And of course since I’m only going in for blood work, I probably won’t even get a chance to talk to my doctor about it. With the ultrasound results and the OPK showing a positive, I had gotten excited. I got my hopes up, just to have them crushed! There’s obviously something wrong and it is NOT what I wanted to hear.

Anyone else have this issue? Positive OPK, but negative progesterone test? What does that mean? I am soooo confused and I hate this feeling. I’ve been crying ever since I got off the phone. My husband of course is the most patient person in the world and I kept saying “I’m sorry” and “What if I can’t have kids?” and he just keeps saying, “Don’t worry we’ll figure it out. I still love you”. He truely is a blessing but I can’t help but think it’s all my fault. My body hates me and this is one of the worst feelings. I think more than anything, it’s just not knowing what’s going on. And WHY this is happening. I biggest fear is there is nothing they can do for me. I just feel completely broken.